Light Bulb Lab

Published 2019 October 25

We present observations of metallicity in samples of water collected in our department. Estimates of a restricted group of people were taken into consideration by our team. Unfortunately, these measurements are heavily affected by instrumental (taste receptor cells) errors, so a conclusion about metallicity gradients cannot be drawn. However, it is clear that these metallicity values are extremely high. This could cause the onset of a disease known in Italian as problemi di calcoli (i.e. troubles with calculus 1 and 2), extremely harmful to students occupying this area. Many researchers are struggling to find some peculiar objects with zero-metallicity, which are thought to be water dispensers with a filtration system capable to zap some of the heavy elements. The community should now strive to bring here at least one water dispenser.

Keywords: water – metallicity – students: calculus – water dispenser

Fig. 1 (left). 3D Map of the water samples collected from the toilet sinks in the DIFA area (the only water sources available). The colorbar shows different metallicity values in water metallicities (pay attention to the scale and the Navile river).
Fig. 2 (right). Projected metallicity along the z axis versus the distance from the Reception Desk. Errors are due to detectors (various distinct receptor cells were used). No conclusion can be drawn on metallicity gradients, but it is clear that metallicities are very high!